LIFE is a SERIES of SNIPPETS: Virtual shopping trips, and more

LIFE is a SERIES of SNIPPETS: Virtual shopping trips, and more

Setting the Bar Low, or Tips to "Getting Motivated when you are Depressed"

I do not suffer from depression but I once had severe depression, so I CAN empathize with those who do...for a short period of time.  Frankly, I am lucky to be here.  I still often "suffer" from lack of motivation, though.  

Thanks to "MindBodyGreen" (MBG), this article hits the nail on the head.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-13042/6-tips-to-get-motivated-when-youre-feeling-depressed.html

So you just cannot drag yourself (out of bed, off the chair, out of the corner) today?  The article recommends setting the bar low.  I like that recommendation.  I sometimes do that for myself.  For each recommendation MBG provides, I decided to add my thoughts.

1. Ideas for Setting the Bar Low:  When you’re depressed, you’re not functioning at your usual 70-90%. Rather, you’re sitting somewhere closer to 20%. If you set the same expectations for yourself that you had when you weren’t feeling depressed (which is sometimes just getting dressed), you’re going to feel anxious and overwhelmed, and probably won’t do the task you expected from yourself (and thus will feel defeated and ashamed).

• MBG: Set SMALL AND SPECIFIC GOALS. Seriously. Unload the dishwasher. Heck, unload three glasses. Task completed and still itching for more? You can always raise the bar if you’re feeling particularly motivated. Take note that if you feel highly overwhelmed while tackling your goal, chances are it's too high and you need to lower it to something more realistic or specific.
• My advice: Forget the dishwasher.  Stay in bed.  Read a good short novel, the kind where the heroine is funny, sassy and kicks ass.  It might take 2 hours or 24, but you will probably be ready to remove those 3 glasses from the dishwasher after that.  You could also watch "My Man Godfrey", a fabulously funny film.  The heroine is a bit off (perhaps like you).  She is crazy but likeable.  After that if you are still depressed you may have to call an ambulance - if you can get to the phone.

2. Practice self-compassion.

• MBG: self-criticism is depression’s BFF. If you beat yourself up for being so “unproductive” and “lazy,” You’re going to keep yourself feeling like crap and thus, paralyzed. Try instead to use the same encouraging words you might use for a friend or loved one. If you can’t find the words, read more about self-compassion here.
• My take on this:  Yes, go ahead, feel sorry for yourself.  Hold a pity party.  Lay in bed bawling for 2 days.  Then get the hell over it.  Empty the dishwasher.

3. Recruit support, or ask for help.

• MBG: Some of us have trouble holding ourselves accountable at the best of times. With little motivation or energy, it’s that much harder. Confide in someone you trust, and ask for their help. Ask a friend to hold you to your commitment. Ask your partner to accompany to a yoga class. Pay for your support group, counseling appointment, or massage beforehand so you’ll be more motivated to attend.
• My thoughts:  Yep, ask for help.  Go for a walk, have a massage.  Do something NICE for you.  Talk with your friend.  Just remember, even good friends don't want to listen to your half-assed whining 10 years from now.  Help is a two-way street.  Then again, "God helps those who help themselves", as my mom used to tell me.

4. Envision how you'll feel after the task.

• MBG: Getting in the shower, going for a walk, preparing a meal, or hanging out with a friend seems like a very ominous task if you focus on the effort involved. People who are depressed generally have low self-efficacy, which means they have low confidence in their ability to perform tasks. As such, they tend to feel overwhelmed and avoid such tasks. Lower expectations for yourself within the task, and envision how you (might) feel after the task rather than during.
• My advice:  I totally agree with this one.  It's also much like #1, lower your expectations (temporarily!).  Lack of cleanliness is one indication of depression and schizophrenia.  You don't want to be schizophrenic...or worse yet, homeless, do you?

5. Make the goal to do it, not to enjoy it.

• MBG: When you’re feeling depressed, it’s natural to lose interest in things that used to make you happy. Comedy is no longer funny, sports are no longer fun, spending time with friends is no longer engaging. Anxiety, depression, and self-loathing take over, leading to feelings of detachment and defeat. So, when doing something “fun” or “active,” do it with the goal to do it, not to enjoy it.
• My take: Goals, self affirmations, whatever.  Hard to get to when you are feeling like total crap.  Surround yourself with a) motivational notes on the mirror, b) a few good friends c) ask for ONE piece of advice from your mom (don't make her wish you had never been born), d) Put on a pretty piece of jewelry and exercise naked for 3 minutes while reading your affirmations out loud.  (I don't know where that came from, but how could you be depressed after doing that?)

6. Acknowledge your courage for stepping out of your comfort zone.

• MBG: As painful as it is, depression can become comfortable in a “devil you know” kind of way. You know what to expect, for the most part. You know the pain, you’re in the pain, you can predict that tomorrow will be more of the same. The idea of stepping out of this comfort zone can be quite anxiety provoking. Steven Hayes, a psychologist whose work I admire said, “If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re always going to get what you’ve always gotten.” So, if you find you’re able to do something (even very slightly) different, congratulate yourself. There’s a good chance whatever you’re experiencing will come with anxiety, because anxiety accompanies uncertainty. Anxiety may be telling you you’re stepping out of the familiar routine of depression, so acknowledge your courage and try to bring such experiences forward in your journey.
• My take:  Change is usually a challenge for most of us.  Don't be someone who is PARALYZED in your current situation and unable to make a change.  Set your goals, even if baby steps.  DO celebrate each milestone.  (emptying the dishwasher).  Write down WHY you feel like you do and WHAT you believe someone from the outside would do if they were in your shoes.  Allow pity for your current situation, but please do not wallow in it.  Who wants to live in abject misery?  Examine your situation, identify steps you must take to get through it.  Pull yourself out of the depressing quagmire and become the person you really want to be.

Life is a highway. Make oatmeal part of it.

Life is a Highway.  I haven't posted to either of my blogs in some time.  Facebook caused that, I believe.  Now everyone on FB is a "daily" if not minute by minute blogger.  I like my other site better,same name on WordPress.

As I enter my "preparing for" retirement phase, I have so much advice for younger people (which they probably will not take, as everyone needs to find out their own way down life's highway).  Usually I am an optimist, but about this I am not.

1. Find a good career where you are happy before you are 40
2. Save 25% of your income for a happy, fun-filled early retirement
3. Don't be afraid to invest in opportunities
4. Laugh often, find a partner who laughs with you...sometimes even at you
5. If your partner wakes you up to watch a lighting storm, get up and you will not be sorry
6. Sneak a bit of chocolate into your partner's pocket/lunch box/bedside table
7. Drink 60 oz of water a day 
8. Never stop walking
9. Tell your parents you love them and any idiosyncrasies you may have are of your own choice and NOT their fault
10. Be nice to people
11. Have a hobby
12. Learn the names of clouds
13. Buy nice underwear, you will not regret it
14. Enjoy all types of weather - be grateful
15. Talk to old people, they have had such interesting lives
16. Eat oatmeal more often, add fresh fruit and vanilla creamer (hey, I am rambling, but this is good)
17. ALWAYS buy good quality shoes and several pair.  Care for your feet and care for your shoes - make a shoe care kit and get in the habit of polishing and oiling all your shoes - your feet ARE noticed!
18.  Details about you are noticed - and people make assumptions about what they see.  They are allowed to do so. So, if you decide to have a tattoo of the word "SEX" in the middle of your forehead, don't be surprised if you get skanky people approaching you.  Examine your plans BEFORE you make a snap decision and know WHY you are doing something.  "Because I want attention" may not be a good enough reason.
19. More later.  Hope it's not 5 years down the road. Now it's time for my oatmeal breakfast.